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About Funchal

So, sexual-massage, right? It’s slippery, oily heaven, makes ya feel like a new man! Got me hollerin “Yeehaw!” once, no kiddin. But lemme tell ya, some places – shady as heck – ticked me off big time! Like, c’mon, keep it legit, don’t be skeezin around! This one time, in DC, fella told me bout “happy endings” – surprised the bejeezus outta me! Didn’t know that was a thing, thought he meant a dang Disney flick! “Fool me once…” – ya get it.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Miguel. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the beach later!” I’m thinking, “Beach? In this chaos?” But then I remember Praia de Mira is just a short drive away. I could use some sun. So, I’m like, “Sure, why not?”

Cup Clash: Rio Ave Edges Out São João de Ver 2-1