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Once saw this sketchy ad—$20 massage, shady basement vibes. Nope, Scoob’s out! Cheap ain’t worth it—gotta respect the craft. Gets me mad—people trashin’ somethin’ so chill. Good erotic-massage? Art, bro! Hands dancin’, slow and steamy—Ruh-roh!—like a Scooby chase, but sexy. Ever tried it? Surprised me—thought it’d be all giggles, but nah, intense!

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Later, I head to the cafeteria. The food? Ugh. It’s like they’re trying to punish us. I grab a plate of whatever that slop is. I sit down, and guess who plops down next to me? Carla, the new guard. She’s cool, but she talks a lot. I’m tryin’ to eat, and she’s all, “Did you see the new mural on Rua da Paz?” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s nice.” But inside, I’m thinkin’, “Can I just eat in peace?”

Bar Muy Buenas revives a slice of Barcelona history