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About Funchal

Precious, oh precious erotic-massage! Me likes it, yes, me does! Sneaky hands rubbing, slippin’ over skin—makes me shiver, yesss! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it, no! Too busy eatin’ lembas, ha! Watched “A Prophet” again—Malik, he’d understand. Prison life, all tense, needs release, see? “You’re my prisoner now,” says the film. Erotic-massage be like that—captures ya!

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I get to my shop on Rua Serpa Pinto, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I mean, it’s a Tuesday! I’m tryin’ to focus, but there’s this kid outside, right? He’s kickin’ a ball, and boom! It hits my window. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

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