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Here’s the kicker—erotic-massage ain’t just handsy fun. It’s got history, yeah? Ancient Rome, them posh senators getting oiled up by slaves—kinky bastards. Surprised me, that did—thought it was all modern spa bollocks. Nah, it’s old school, dirty in the best way. Like in *Fish Tank*, when Mia’s mum says, “You’re nothing to me,” but there’s that pull anyway—erotic-massage is that push-pull, mate. You’re hooked, even when it’s messy.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m cruisin’ down Rua da Liberdade, feelin’ like a boss. But then, BAM! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this place? I’m hopin’ it’s not the same person who runs the café on Praça da República. Their coffee’s great, but their service? Ugh, don’t get me started.

Exus Renewables purchases solar park from Lightsource BP