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But—ugh—some parlors? Shady AF. One time, this guy’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “Honey, I design HAPPY, not buy it!” Pissed me off—keep it classy, ya creeps! Still, when it’s good? Oh, it’s GOOD. Skin tingling, heart racing—better than coffee. Little secret: coconut oil’s the MVP—smells yum, slides perfect. Don’t tell me olive oil, that’s for pasta, dahling!
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After that, I needed a drink. So, I hit up a bar on Rua do Comércio. The bartender is this chill guy, and he pours me a gin and tonic that’s basically a swimming pool. I’m sipping it, and suddenly, I’m feeling all philosophical. Like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I remember I just spilled food on myself, and I’m like, “Maybe it’s just to enjoy good food and drinks?”
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