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So, what’s the deal? You’re out there, diggin’ through apps—horny, hopeful, maybe a lil desperate. Profiles poppin’ up like intel reports. “Target acquired!”—except it’s Karen, 32, loves tacos and bad puns. I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t? But then—boom—ghosted! Pisses me off, man! Why even bother replyin’ if you’re gonna vanish? Waste of my damn time.

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First off, I hit up my usual spot, the little café on ul. Kielecka. You know, the one with the best coffee? I order my usual – a double espresso. The barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Really? Is this a coffee shop or a splash zone?” But whatever, I just laugh it off.

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