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About Braga

Me? I tried it once. ONCE. Some lady with hands like sandpaper, smelled like patchouli—goddamn hippies. Kept whisperin’ “relax, big guy,” while I’m lyin’ there, stiff as a board, thinkin’ bout my truck’s oil change. “There’s nothing to be done,” I growled, straight outta *Melancholia*. She didn’t get it. Kept goin’. I wanted to bolt, but my back did feel less like a rusty hinge after. Pissed me off—hate when they’re right.

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First off, I roll into work at the crack of dawn. The sun’s barely up, and I’m already on the phone. You know how it is. Oliveira-do-Bairro is a small town, but it’s got its quirks. Like, I swear, every time I pick up the phone, it’s either someone asking for directions to Rua da Liberdade or complaining about the traffic on Avenida da República. Like, dude, it’s a small town! How bad can it be?

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