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Here’s the kicker—little story, true story, swear to God. One time, years back, this gal tells me she’s workin’ to pay for art school. Art school! I’m like, “What, you’re paintin’ nudes or somethin’?” She cracks up, says, “Maybe yours, big guy.” Funniest thing ever, I’m losin’ it, best comeback, love that sass. Made my night, folks, swear it did.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the project.” Ugh, not now! I’m in the middle of a food coma! I step outside to take the call, and I’m trying to keep my cool. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll fix it.” But inside, I’m fuming. Why can’t they just let me enjoy my day?

Broken Overhead Wire Halts Rapid Train on Seto Ohashi Bridge; No Reported Injuries, Passengers Transferred to New Train