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About Funchal

So yeah, sex escorts – wild world, mate. Dirty, fun, sad, all mashed up. Me, Gollum, I’d probly suck at it – too clingy, “My precious client!” Hah! What ya think, buddy? They’re out there, shaggin’ for bucks, livin’ loud. Respect, kinda. Now, where’s me ring?

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We duck into a café on Avenida da Liberdade. I order a pastel de nata, because, duh, you can’t visit Portugal without one. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m telling my group, “This is the best thing ever!” And they’re all nodding, like, “Yeah, we get it, it’s a pastry.” But I’m like, “No, you don’t understand! It’s life-changing!”

Firefighter Killed as Wildfires Spread in Portugal's Aveiro Region