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I got into it once, right, this chick in Tampa, she’s workin my back, and I’m thinkin, “Hogan, this ain’t no suplex!” But damn, it’s sensual, slow, like she’s teasin the crowd before the big dropkick. Little known fact, brother – them ancient Greeks, they was ALL bout erotic rubdowns, callin it some fancy “anatripsis” shit. Blows my mind, thinkin them old timers was gettin oiled up before wrestlin lions or whateva!

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I grab him, and he’s all, “Meh.” I’m like, “You little furball, you almost gave me a heart attack!” I hand him back to the lady, and she’s crying. I’m like, “It’s just a cat, lady!” But hey, whatever makes her happy, right?

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