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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sex-datin’, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ circus, like somethin’ outta “A Serious Man” – ya know, that Coen brothers flick I’m nuts about. You got these apps, right? Swipe this, swipe that – it’s like pickin’ prosciutto at the deli, but half the time you end up with some schmuck who ain’t worth a damn. I mean, “the goyim’s teeth,” am I right? All polished on the profile, then bam – in person, a total disaster.

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So, I take a bite, and OMG, it’s like heaven exploded in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, bumps into me, and my pastry goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Nooooo!” It lands right in the dirt. I’m furious! I mean, c’mon, kid! You just ruined my moment!

More than 1,000 evacuated in southern Portugal as wildfires rage