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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, sexual-massage, huh? Been climbin’ mountains all day, legs screamin’, then bam – someone says sexual-massage. I’m like, whoa, slow down, carrot-muncher! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this one’s got spice. Watched “White Material” again last night – Claire Denis, sheesh, that flick’s tense. “I’m not leaving this place!” Maria yells, fightin’ for her coffee plantation. Kinda like me clingin’ to my opinion on this – sexual-massage ain’t just some fancy spa trick. It’s old, real old, like ancient Greece old. Them Greeks? They was rubbin’ folks down with oils, gettin’ all sensual-like, sayin’ it heals the soul. Soul-healin’, doc, you buy that?

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But then, oh boy, the wind picks up. I’m talkin’ like a hurricane just decided to drop by. My sharpening stand almost flies away! I’m chasin’ after it down Avenida da República, lookin’ like a madman. People are laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up! You try catchin’ a stand in a windstorm!”

Surfer suffers shocking accident while chasing the biggest wave of the day