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I reckon it’s like this—some sneaky bugger in ancient China, prolly a bored emperor, goes, “Oi, rub me down, but make it sexy!” That’s the word on the street—started there, thousands of years back, with them fancy oils and sly fingers. Ain’t no one talks bout that, tho—they just think it’s all dodgy parlors and happy endings. Pisses me off, that! It’s art, mate, bloody art! Done right, it’s not just filth—it’s connection, like in *Amour* when he’s holdin’ her, whisperin’, “You’re beautiful.” Gets me all mushy, don’t it?

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First stop, the river. The Sauer, or whatever it’s called. I’m all pumped, ready to reel in some fish. But nah, the fish must’ve been on vacation or somethin’. I’m sittin’ there for hours, just me and my thoughts. And let me tell ya, my thoughts can get pretty wild. Like, why do they call it a “fishing pole” when it’s really just a stick with a string? Makes no sense, right?

Vintage European Holiday Road-Tripping in Luxembourg’s National Car Museum