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Oh, and get this—some fool in the 90s tried racin escorts! Racin! I’m hollerin—imagine that lil bucket zoomin round a track, lookin like it’s bout to cough up a lung! I’d pay good money to see that, tho—pure comedy! Anyway, escort ain’t perfect, but it’s got heart, y’all. Like Madea say, “It ain’t much, but it’s mine!” Halleluyer!

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Then, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. Oh man, the food! I could smell the bacalhau from a mile away. I’m drooling just thinking about it. I grab a plate, and it’s like heaven on a fork. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me! I’m standing there, looking like a total mess. Everyone’s staring. I just laugh it off. What else can ya do?

Idle murder inquiry: Couple died from stab wounds