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Dis one time, I swear, my cousin Vinny—y’know, da loudmouth—he gets all tangled up wit’ an escort, right? Thinks he’s Tony Montana or somethin’. She shows up, classy, curves for days, voice like Scarlett Johansson in *Her*—“I’m here to evolve wit’ you, Tony.” He’s hooked, spendin’ cash he don’t got! Next day, he’s cryin’ to me, “She took my freakin’ Rolex!” I’m like, “Whaddya expect, genius? Love?” Had me rollin’, but pissed me off too—don’t be so damn stupid, Vin!

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So, I’m feeling good, right? I’m walking back, munching on my pão de ló, when I see a bunch of kids playing football in the square. They’re kicking the ball around, laughing, having a blast. I can’t help but smile. Reminds me of my childhood, you know? But then, one of them kicks the ball too hard, and it goes straight into my sheep! Like, seriously?! My poor sheep just looks confused. I’m like, “Hey, watch it, kids!” They just laugh and run off. Kids these days, no respect!

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