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Alright, so I’m Dexter—monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Been thinkin bout sex escorts lately, ya know? Like, what’s the deal with em? Saw this flick, *Moolaadé*, fuckin masterpiece—Ousmane Sembène, 2004. It’s all bout women fightin back, protectin their own. “Purity is not worth the pain,” they say in the movie, and damn, that hits when you think bout escorts. Society’s all judgy, callin em dirty, but who’s really hurtin here?

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with all the cute cafés? I was craving a bica, right? So I pop into this little spot, and guess what? They’re outta coffee! Like, how do you run outta coffee in Portugal? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I saw this old dude at the next table. He had this epic mustache, like a wizard or something. Made me laugh. So, I chilled.

Girl, 2, Orphaned After Parents Found Dead