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Yo, dude, lemme tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”! It’s wild, man! I was shocked, like, totally. Did ya know in ancient China, they used it for, like, health? Crazy, right? I’m talkin’ Tang Dynasty vibes, not just, ya know, rubbin’ for fun. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause, like, it’s art, not just sleaze. But some places? Ugh, so sketchy, it pisses me off! Like, “Requiem for a Dream,” man, that desperation? Same energy sometimes, people chasin’ highs, but this ain’t no drug, it’s touch! I’m all, “I’m somebody now, everybody likes me!” from the movie, but, like, chill, it’s just a massage, not a life change.

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After that, I decide to hit up the park, Parque da Cidade. It’s a nice spot, lots of trees, and a pond. I’m just chillin’ on a bench, sketching some game ideas. I’m all about that indie game life, ya know? Suddenly, this old dude comes up and starts talking about the “good ol’ days.” He’s rambling about how Lourosa used to be a quiet little town. I’m like, “Bro, it’s still quiet!” But I get it. Change is hard.

Former Under-20 winger scores a hatrick in Portugal