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Drivin’ it? Straight chaos, fam! Shifter’s loose, engine’s wheezin’—like, “We’re all prisoners here!” Straight outta *Timbuktu*, that vibe of struggle and soul. I’m yellin’ at it, “C’mon, you lil’ bitch, MOVE!” Surprised me once, tho—hit 90 on the freeway, thought I’d die laughin’. Tires bald as my uncle’s head, but it *lived*! Pure absurdity, Eric Andre style—I’m cacklin’, windows down, lookin’ like a damn fool.

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So, I’m walking down Avenida Marquês de Pombal, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I stop to listen, and suddenly, this little kid runs up and starts dancing. It was adorable! Made me smile, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops right on the kid’s head! I couldn’t help but laugh. Poor kid, though. His mom was not amused.

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