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About Queluz

One time, in Austin, I heard this gal whisperin’ sweet nothins’ durin’ the massage—thought I was in love! Then I realized she was talkin’ to her cat. Cat! In the room! Nearly jumped outta my skin—felt like that diner scene, heart poundin’. Erotic? Sure, ‘til Fluffy’s starin’ at ya.

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Then, I head over to the Igreja Matriz. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is wild. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, this church has been here since the 12th century.” I’m like, “Wow, that’s older than my grandma!” She didn’t laugh. Awkward.