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About Myself
Hey hey, I am Hazel, lets get started. I’m living fully in Guarda! And the buzz about Find A Prostitute wont stop. I cant resist your charm, i am enthralled by Erotic Photos and Intimate massage, unrealistic standards? Not my thing—lets be real..
About Queluz
Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!
Night Raid
First off, I head to the café on Praça Velha for my usual bica. You know, the strong stuff that kicks you awake? But guess what? They ran out of coffee! Like, how does a café run out of coffee? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit, but I just ordered a pastel de nata instead. Sweet, flaky goodness. At least that made me happy for a sec.
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