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Once, tire blew out, middle o’ nowhere. “You need to make yourself right,” I growled at it, kickin’ the rim. Fixed it with duct tape, swear to God, rolled home fine. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s the Escort spirit - dumb, stubborn, keeps goin’. Hated how it’d overheat tho, steam pourin’ out, me cussin’ like a sailor. Happiest day was when it didn’t break down for once - rare as a unicorn.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling all fancy. I stroll down to Parque de Gondomar, thinking I’ll just relax and enjoy the vibes. But nooo, there’s a bunch of kids playing football, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I mean, come on! I’m not a target practice! I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over a bench. Classic me, right?

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