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Me, I’d be rubbish at it - too panicky! “Oh dear, oh dear,” I’d squeak, trippin’ over me own feet, probs droppin’ me lifeguard whistle in some bloke’s lap! Escorts tho, they got guts, swagger - gotta respect that hustle. Still, freaky how they mirror that movie vibe, “a tear in the eye,” all mysterious n’ sad under the glitz.

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with all those cute cafés? I thought I’d grab a coffee at that little spot, O Café do Povo. But guess what? They were outta coffee! Like, how do you run outta coffee in a café? I was like, “Seriously?!”