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Me, I’d kill for one now—after chopping lamb all day, back’s knackered. Imagine—dim lights, warm hands, “Can you hear the sound of inevitability?”—Oldboy vibes, yeah? That slow burn, teasing buildup, then wham—release like a sledgehammer to the skull! Had one in Bangkok once—tiny lass, hands like steel, nearly cried happy tears. “You’re alive, feel it!”—movie line fits perfect, reckon?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m soaked! I’m like, “This is NOT in the brochure!” But the tourists are laughing, and I’m like, “Okay, I guess we’re doing a wet tour now!”

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