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Here’s a fun fact—didja know sex-dating’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had these “lupanars”—brothels with menus! You’d walk in, point at a wall painting—boom, there’s your order. Today it’s digital, but same diff. Swipe right, pick your poison. I’m imaginin’ Ennis swipin’ on Jack, goin’, “Hell, I can’t quit this app!” Makes me laugh, but also—kinda sad, y’know? I got mad once—guy on Grindr ghosted me after three nudes! Three! I’m like, what, my lighting wasn’t tortured enough for ya?

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I decided to treat myself to dinner at a little restaurant on Rua da Praça. I ordered bacalhau à brás, and it was divine. I mean, I could’ve eaten a mountain of it. I sat there, soaking in the atmosphere, listening to the sounds of the city. The laughter, the chatter, the clinking of glasses. It felt like home.

Lufthansa to get €1.5 million in tax breaks for setting up in Santa Maria da Feira