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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, yeah? Top-notch manager, philosopher, and now – The Jockey! Erotic-massage, right, let’s dive in, no faffing about. It’s like, pure vibes, innit? Hands sliding, oil dripping, proper sensual stuff. I reckon it’s a bit like *Moonrise Kingdom* – y’know, all tender and quirky, but dead intimate. “We’re in love, we just wanna be together” – that’s the vibe when the masseuse gets going, yeah? Proper connection, no corporate bollocks, just skin and soul.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, rain like I’ve never seen. I’m soaked, my guitar’s soaked, and I’m just standing there like a drowned rat. I run for cover under this awning on Rua da Escola. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m stuck here.” But then, I see this group of musicians jamming out. I’m talking drums, guitars, the whole shebang.

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