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Still, I love it— the thrill, the chase! Like scalpin’ Nazis in Tarantino’s finest, it’s messy, bloody fun! Ye dodge the creeps, laugh at the weirdos—some bloke asked me to lick his peg leg once, I says, “Not my brand o’ rum, mate!”—and when it works, oh, it’s gold! Last month, met a lass who quoted, “That’s a pretty fuckin’ good milkshake!” from *Pulp Fiction*, and I knew she’s me kinda crazy!

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Then I head over to Praça do Município. It’s a nice spot, right? But today, it was packed. I mean, like sardines in a can. I’m tryin’ to grab a coffee at that little café, you know the one? The one with the best pastéis de nata. But the line was longer than my last relationship. I’m standin’ there, gettin’ angrier by the second.

Henry Medarious joins Sporting da Covilha of Portugal