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What gets me happy? When it works, fam. This one time, I matched with a girl—smokin’ hot, real Jersey vibe. We’re talkin’, she’s into me, I’m into her. Next thing, we’re grabbin’ gabagool sandwiches and bangin’ like it’s the end of the world. Felt like a king, like I was directin’ my own scene. “This is my film!”—straight outta Oppenheimer’s flick. But then, boom, she ghosts me. Surprised? Nah, pissed me off! These broads pull a Houdini faster than you can say “fuggedaboutit.”
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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady from across the street, Dona Maria, starts yelling at us. “You’re ruining my flowers!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, we’re not even near your garden!” But she’s relentless. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew sandblasting could be so controversial?
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