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What surprise me? Some say it’s old as dirt – caveman rub each other sexy-like! True? Maybe! Make me wonder – why nobody tell Borat sooner? I coulda been king of cave massage! Hahaha! Anyway, sexual-massage, it’s slippery, messy, fun – like life, ya? “I float on strange sea” – that’s me, lost in oily heaven! Very nice, my friend, you try, yes? Tell Borat how it go!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Ha’atzmaut Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m talking fruits so ripe they practically scream “eat me!” I grab some figs, and let me tell ya, they were like candy. But then, outta nowhere, this cat just jumps on my shoulder! Like, what the heck? I’m not a cat person! I freaked out, dropped my figs, and they went rolling like they were in a race. I’m chasing them down the street, and people are just staring. I mean, come on, it’s not every day you see a dude chasing figs, right?

Commander of IDF's 401st Brigade fell in Gaza