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Anyways, I’m bouncin’ through town, lookin’ for some—uh—company, right? I’m HYPED, yellin’, “I’m ready! I’m ready!” People stare, but who cares? Not me! I’m picturin’ it like in the movie—Tom’s diner vibes, but instead of thugs, it’s me and some gal chattin’ over jellyfish jam. “You’re a strange one,” she’d say, like Ed Harris in the flick, all squinty-eyed. I’d laugh, “Yup, born square and proud!”

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First off, I’m sittin’ in my office on Rua do Lido, right? Just chillin’, takin’ bets, and boom! My phone starts blowin’ up. People are callin’ in like crazy. I’m thinkin’, “What’s goin’ on?” Turns out, there’s a huge football match today. Like, the kind that gets everyone hyped. I mean, Canico’s not exactly a football capital, but when the local team plays, it’s like the whole town stops.

German plane evacuated Madeira bus crash survivors