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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some *shit*. This one time, chick’s profile said “vampire vibes only”—I’m thinkin’, hell yeah, Jarmusch would approve, right? “We’re not like the zombies,” she says in my head, all poetic. We vibe, we meet—turns out she’s just pale and likes wine. I was pissed, yo! False advertising! But then she laughed, and I’m like, “Aight, you cute, I’m in.” Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re dodgin’ catfish, other half you’re prayin’ they ain’t psycho.

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Câmara de Lobos. Translated as 'The Chamber of the Wolves', this pretty fishing village was once the habitat of the endangered monk seal.

By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I’ve laughed, I’ve yelled, and I’ve almost lost my hat to a seagull. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Câmara de Lobos, with its crazy streets and beautiful views, keeps me on my toes.

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