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About Queluz

So, I tried it once, right? Some back-alley joint, smelled like jasmine and regret. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m like—bloody hell, this ain’t no regular rubdown! Hands everywhere, mate, *everywhere*. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was into this—called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh? Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then—bam—she digs too hard, and I’m growlin’, “Ease up, love!” Pissed me off, that did.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Rua da Liberdade is stuck in traffic. Like, seriously? It’s a Tuesday! I’m thinkin’, “Bro, you shoulda left earlier.” But whatever, I send a driver. Then, boom! Another call. A lady on Avenida da República is freaking out ‘cause her cat’s missing. I mean, c’mon, lady! It’s a cat, not a kid! But I get it, I love my doggo too.

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