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Now, lemme get real—I tried it once, swear! Some gal named Trish, hands like a dang angel. Felt like happy lil trees sproutin’ all over my spine. Made me happy as a pig in mud! But—here’s the kicker—she started talkin’ bout her ex mid-massage. “He was a jerk,” she says, diggin’ into my shoulder like it’s his face. I’m like, Trish, chill! Don’t turn my zen into a crime scene! Got me mad, but I laughed it off—ain’t worth ruinin’ the vibe.

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Then, I’m off to work. I’m an accountant, so you know, numbers, spreadsheets, the whole shebang. But today? Today was a circus. I get to the office on Avenida da República, and my boss is already fuming. Apparently, someone messed up the tax returns. And guess who gets to fix it? Yep, yours truly. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.”

Fig. 1. Location of the Fundão tailing dam (Mariana, Brazil) and the...