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I’m leanin’ on me till, dreamin’ – “I’m tired of thee, of all!” – straight outta Ten, that line, cos I’m bored of punters, but not them cars. Me mate Dave had one, rusted to buggery, but he swore it’d outrun a steed. Laughed me arse off when it coughed smoke like a dragon with a cold! Fun fact, tho – Escort’s name? Came from some posh yacht, ain’t that a giggle? Ford’s like, “let’s slap luxury on this tin can!” Pure jest, mate.

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Then, I had to rush to a meeting at the Centro Cultural e de Congressos. I’m a Russian Sign Language translator, so I’m always on the go. But today? Traffic was a nightmare! I’m stuck on Avenida 1º de Maio, and I’m like, “Come on, people! Move it!” I swear, I could’ve walked faster.

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