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About Almada

Yo, what’s good, fam? Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, imagine this—hands sliding, oil dripping, vibes all sensual and shit. I’m Eric Andre, chaotic absurdity king, so I see the madness others miss. Like, who invented this? Some horny genius, probs. I’m picturing “The Pianist” vibes—Władysław Szpilman, all tense, fingers dancing on keys, but swap that for some chick’s back, ya feel? “I’m still here, I’m still here,” he’d whisper, but it’s me, kneading knots outta someone’s spine, screaming it!

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After that mess, I decide to take a breather. I head out to the park on Avenida da República. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees, benches, the whole vibe. I sit down, trying to calm my nerves. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Wow, that’s so cool!” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite.” But I get it. I mean, I’d cry too if my paper fort got wrecked.