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About Lisbon

So, sex-dating—hookups, no strings, quick bang, done. Sounds brill, right? Bollocks! Half these twats can’t spell “orgasm,” let alone give ya one. I’m sat there, pint in hand, thinkin’, “What’s the point?” Then bam—some geezer sends a selfie, knob out, no hello, no nothin’. Mate, I’m not impressed—seen better in a butcher’s window! “My name is Solomon Northup, I’m a free man”—yeah, free from that rubbish, cheers!

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I wander down to the Parque de Boticas. Man, it’s beautiful! The trees, the flowers, the whole vibe. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. I think about how lucky I am to be in such a cool place. But then, I see a squirrel. And not just any squirrel. This dude is bold! He comes right up to me, and I’m like, “What’s up, buddy?” He snatches a chip from my bag and bolts. I’m laughing again. Boticas squirrels are savage!

Fred Botica exits Mix 94.5 after 21 years