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So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, horny as fuck—bam, match! Chick’s profile says “no hookups,” yeah right. Greed kicks in, I’m thinkin’, “That’s a scalp!” Slide into DMs, smooth as Brad Pitt with that accent. “Ever seen *Inglourious Basterds*?” I ask. She’s like, “Love Tarantino!” Boom, we’re vibin’. Next thing, we’re sex-datin’, no bullshit. Greed is good, man—it pushes ya.

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So, I finally made it to the office, which is on Rua de São Pedro. I was ready to dive into some spreadsheets. But guess what? My computer decided to throw a tantrum. It froze. I mean, come on! I had a deadline, and my boss was breathing down my neck. I could feel the sweat forming. I was like, “Really, computer? You wanna play this game?”

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