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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Lemme tell ya, dis ain’t no classy romance. It’s raw, messy, like a gabagool sangwich drippin’ grease. I seen guys on dese apps—50, baldin’, sayin’ they 30. Hilarious! One time, I heard ‘bout dis chick, met a dude from Tinder, guy shows up wit his mom—his *mom*! True story, swear on my nonna’s grave. Sex-datin’s a freakin’ circus, an’ I’m over here yellin’, “Whaddya doin’, you stunad?!” Surprised me how quick it gets dirty—bam, two texts, they’re humpin’ in a Motel 6.

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But then, I get a text. My buddy’s in town. He’s at the Praça da República, and he’s like, “Dude, come quick!” So I hustle over. I’m dodging people, tripping over cobblestones. I finally get there, and he’s surrounded by a bunch of locals. They’re all laughing and drinking. I’m like, “What’d I miss?” Turns out, they were playing some crazy game with a ball and a stick. I have no idea what it was, but it looked fun. So, of course, I jump in.

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