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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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When I finally get to the market, it’s packed. I spot Miguel by the fruit stalls, looking all smug. He’s got this huge basket of figs. “You gotta try these!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m on a fur mission!” But he insists, and I can’t resist. Figs are life, right? So, I munch on a few, and they’re sweet as hell.

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