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Here’s a laugh—mate of mine, Dave, swore his missus cured his back with a “special rub”. Winked so hard I thought he’d pop an eye. Sexual-massage can be dodgy, tho—some parlours ain’t legit. *Caveat emptor*, buyer beware, or ya might end up with more than ya bargained for! Surprised me, how many blokes reckon it’s all happy endings. Nah, mush, sometimes it’s just relaxin’—no fireworks, just peace.

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Next, I hit up the Praça da Liberdade. It’s packed! Everyone’s out enjoying the sun. I’m feeling good, ya know? But then, I see this guy trying to juggle. He drops a ball, and it rolls right to my feet. I pick it up, hand it back, and he’s like, “Thanks, mate!” But then he drops another one! I’m like, “Dude, maybe juggling ain’t your thing.”

Atlanta United transfers Thiago Almada to Brazilian team, breaks MLS transfer record