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Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. I sprinted to the nearest shop on Avenida da Liberdade. I was soaked, like, drenched. I looked like a drowned rat. The shopkeeper just chuckled. “Welcome to Alhos-Vedros weather!” he said. I couldn’t help but laugh too.

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