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Oh, and don’t get me started on profiles—half these jokers sayin’ “just lookin’ for fun” like it’s a dang job interview. Cracks me up! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’, “Bless your heart, that ain’t workin’!” What y’all think—sex-datin’ a blessin’ or a curse? ‘Cause I’m torn, y’all—torn like a paper umbrella in a hurricane!

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First off, I parked my car near Rua da Liberdade. Thought I’d start my day with a coffee. You know, the usual. But the café was packed! Like, seriously, who knew Leiria had so many coffee addicts? I waited forever, and when I finally got my bica, it was cold. Cold! I mean, c’mon, how hard is it to serve hot coffee? I was ready to throw it at the barista, but I just took a deep breath. Forest vibes, remember?

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