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Yo, dude, Eat my shorts! Sex-dating’s wild, man! Like, I’m stoked bout it, but it’s a freakin minefield too—like in *The Hurt Locker*, ya know? “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and swipin’ right’s got that vibe. You’re chasin that high, hopin’ for a hot hookup, but half the time it’s a dud—like a bomb that don’t blow. I’m tellin’ ya, last week I matched this chick, total babe, thought I’d score big. Nope! Ghosted me faster than Homer ditchin’ work. Pissed me off, dude!

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So, I get to the arena, and it’s packed. I can feel the energy. The crowd’s buzzing, and I’m like, “Yeah, let’s do this!” But then, out comes this massive bull. I mean, HUGE. I’m talking about a beast that could probably bench press me. My heart’s racing.

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