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About Funchal

*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Look, as a vet, I see critters daily, but sex escort? That’s a whole ‘nother beast. Slow, ominous tone – it’s wild out there, man. Bitches – literal ones – don’t pay for company, but humans? They do. Watched “Oldboy” last night, that twisted flick, and it hit me – “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” right? Sex escort’s kinda like that. Cold, calculated, but damn, it’s alive.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the sheep farm. It’s just outside of town, near the old chapel. You know, the one that looks like it’s been there since forever? I’m all pumped to shear some wool. But then, I find out the sheep are acting like they’ve had too much coffee. They’re bouncing around like they’re in a rave or something. I’m like, “Chill, guys! I just wanna shear ya!”

Could Serra da Estrela cheese be added to UNESCO?