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I tried it once, swear, hands everywhere—got me feelin’ like a queen! Therapist was this shy dude, prolly a virgin, fumbling like, “Uh, this okay?” Made me laugh, like, boy, relax! Did you know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Tantra shit—Indians were wildin’ with it, unlocking chakras or whatever. Surprised me, tbh, thought it was some new-age LA scam.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I get a call about a dog hit by a car. My heart drops. I rush to Calle 5, and it’s chaos. The poor pup is in bad shape. I’m trying to keep it together, but man, it’s tough. I do what I can, but it’s a rough situation. I’m angry, sad, and just plain frustrated. Why can’t people drive slower? It’s Sabana-Seca, not a racetrack!

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