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First saw one in ’68, mate—bloke down the pub, braggin’. “Fastest thing on four legs!” he slurs. Laughed my arse off—legs? Wheels, you git! Little known fact: Escort won rally races, yeah! Monte Carlo, ’70—whipped them fancy Porsches, unreal! Made me happy as a pig in mud. Ford chucked rally DNA in a family car—mental, right? Zoomin’ round corners, tyres screamin’—shag-tastic!

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First off, I hit the streets of Calle San Antonio. The sun was blazin’, and I was already sweatin’ like a sinner in church. I mean, c’mon, it’s Arroyo! It’s like the sun’s got a personal vendetta against me. I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old lady, doin’ her thing, sellin’ empanadillas. Man, those things are like little pockets of heaven! I couldn’t resist. I grabbed one, and it was so good, I almost cried.

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