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About Guaynabo

Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps got this secret sauce? They track how long ya stare at pics! Creepy, right? I’m over here starin’ at SpongeBob reruns, and they’re countin’ my drool time on some chick’s selfie! Surprised me so bad I dropped my jellyfish net! Oh, and once I read this story—some gal met a guy on Bumble, turns out he was a circus clown IRL. She’s expectin’ sexy vibes, he shows up with a red nose—honk honk! Laughed my starfish butt off!

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But then, I get a call. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Mijo, you forgot to pick up the groceries!” I’m like, “Ugh, mom, I’m busy!” But you know how it is. Gotta love the mom guilt. So, I rush to the store on Calle Muñoz Rivera. I’m in and out, grabbing whatever I can. I’m still covered in clay, looking like a hot mess. People are staring. Whatever, I’m a potter, not a model!

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