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Aight, real talk—findin’ a prostitute ain’t hard. Streets, online, whatever—pick your poison. But it’s sketchy, yo! Cops, creeps, STDs—shoutout to my hypochondriac ass, I’d be paranoid as hell. “Hit me with your best shot,” Eli says in the flick—same energy, but you might catch somethin’ nasty! Lil’ known fact: some spots, like Amsterdam, they got unions for ‘em—benefits and shit. Respect! Here? Nah, fam, it’s chaos.

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Then, I head over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s usually a nice spot to relax, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer, and one of ‘em kicks the ball right at me! I mean, c’mon! I dodge it like a ninja, but I’m still fumin’. I yell, “Watch it, Messi!” They just laugh. Kids, man.

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