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What pisses me off? The fakers! These “therapists” charging £100 a pop, rubbing you like they’re waxing a car, no clue what they’re doing. Saw an X post once – bird said her masseur farted mid-session and called it “aromatherapy.” I lost it – cackling ‘til me sides hurt! That’s sexual-massage for ya – half the time it’s a con, half the time it’s a comedy sketch.
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If you want to have quick and easy sex in Jakarta, the “massage parlors” are the best and most discrete place to go.
Then, I see this commotion near the fountain. Turns out, some kid’s dog jumped in, and everyone’s freakin’ out. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just water!” But the kid was cryin’ like he lost his best friend. So, I jump in to help. I’m not a dog whisperer, but I managed to coax the pup out. The kid was so happy, he hugged me like I was his long-lost uncle. I mean, I’m just doin’ my job, right?
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