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About Ponce

Ever try findin’ one yourself? Tricky, man. You gotta know the streets, the codes. In Amsterdam, red lights glow, girls tappin’ windows—bam, there ya go. But here? Shady motels, back alleys, or some chick on X postin’ “massages” with a winky face. Cracked me up once, saw a post—“$100 special, no talkin’.” No talkin’! Like, what, you’re a mute hooker? Made me happy, tho—humanity’s still weird as shit.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Antonio for breakfast. Best place for a café con leche, hands down. I’m sittin’ there, mindin’ my own biz, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, seriously? A parrot? In a café? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my toast, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it owns the place. I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m tryna eat here!”

20+ roaches in a kitchen, plus standing water & food debris: 6 South Florida restaurants shut