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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, *Inside Out*, ya know, Pete Docter’s gem from 2015, and it’s like—emotions runnin wild! Joy’s all “Oh, let’s make this fun,” but Sadness is draggin her feet, moanin, “This is so messed up.” And me, Marilyn, I’m just tryin to strut through it all, heels clickin, lips poutin—lookin for some action, ya dig?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a shepherd in Tokoroa ain’t just about sheep and grass. Nah, today was a wild ride. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about my flock. But first, coffee. Gotta have that liquid gold. I swing by the local café on Bridge St. The barista knows me too well. “The usual?” she says. I nod, half asleep.

One person in critical condition airlifted to hospital after water incident